Hi! I’m Gillian Cruz.
Born in 1991.
BS in Development Communication. UPLB graduate.
Close friends call me Gilly.
I live a pretty laid-back life. And the things that make me happy include old school music, twisted films, The Beatles, beer, Los Baños, good food, and peace & love.
My 2012 was half great, half tough. And the shift from great to tough was too sudden and surprising to handle. I wasn’t ready for it.
For 6 tough months, I’ve been writing all my thoughts on random sheets of paper, backside of photographs, notebooks, and in this secret blog, my own Thought Catalog.
Honestly, I missed writing about the happy events in my life. My blogs have been silent for half a year because there’s nothing in my life that is worth sharing. I was so uninspired. I was lost and unhappy. And I don’t want to spread some depressing thoughts.
Last week, I was reading what I’ve written in the past 6 months, and it felt awful looking back. Reading my words vividly reminded me how horrible the feeling was. But afterwards I felt good knowing how much I’ve changed, and that I’m doing good in moving forward.
It was also amazing how the beginning of a new year affects a person’s mindset. I know you can start changing your way of thinking (if you want to) anytime, but there’s just something about the first few months of the year that keeps you extra motivated.
That was also mentioned in this video that was shown in one of our office’s activities:
So far, my 2013 has been good.
I missed my first day of work for the year, though, because I got confused with the dates. I also made some resolutions, which are less likely to succeed 100% since I already failed 2 out of 5 — which is to go home more often, and limit my smoking to at most 10 sticks a week (I can’t totally quit. I admit, that would be impossible for now.)
Anyway, the first four weeks were spent with good friends — out, usually… and with lots of food. And I’m hoping to spend the coming weeks also with the others whom I haven’t seen for a long time, and whom I avoided seeing during those “silent” days.
Now that I think I’m back from the muted world (not sure, if muted is the right word since deep inside it’s like I’m in the Battle of Hogwarts), I hope I’d earn more experiences that are worth sharing, which is impossible if I kept myself dwelling in happy memories of the past instead of making new ones in the present.
And, yes, lessons from tough experiences are worth sharing, too… but maybe some other time, when I can totally say that I’ve already learned from it.
It will all come out eventually.
Have a good day! :)
“Now isn’t this true… Maybe yes, maybe not. But think about it for a second. How are people controlled on this planet? By fear. Fear from this, fear from that, fear from whatever. Fear, fear and more f*#king fear. Now that is really stupid. People are afraid to REALLY be alive, to do what they really want to do, to live the life they really want to live. Why? Because they think too much about what other people think of them. They are not free. People that give a damn about other peoples opinion CANNOT BE FREE to do anything and to enjoy themselves.
Why are we so concerned with what other people think? Is it the fear that we will lose status if we do something that is not “normal”? WTF is normal anyway? Who decides what is and what isn’t normal? You have to take the red pill in life and know the truth. Most people are too stupid to realize that they can actually be happy in life. Whatever.
It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. - yes. Imagine you don’t have anything in life. Nobody, nothing. Nothing to lose. Only then are you completely free, because you don’t care, you just do it, you live it, you are alive. And that is what we need to do, awaken, open our eyes to the truth…” — Fight Club Quotes
July 13, Friday. The night was kind of unplanned. My closest group of college friends (yes, Edcom ‘08) decided to have a night-out in LB on Friday the 13th. The original plan is to rent a room in V3 (because we’d want a videoke for a night of nonstop singing). Rent a room in V3, and sleep at Ern’s place. Everyone who works in Metro Manila (me, Candy, Mariel, Dustin, Leah and Alyssa) will meet in the bus station in Buendia so we could go to LB together. Jazz arrived in LB in the afternoon for her diploma, so we asked her to do the arrangements in V3.
The original plan suddenly changed because of a super spontaneous decision made during the bus ride to LB. Due to heavy rain in Manila, we arrived in the bus station quite later than we expected. We got on the bus at past 9. It’s really late and our friends who are already in LB were getting tired of waiting. Jazz called and told us that the V3 in front of Boston Cafe closes at 12, while the one in LB Square closes at 1. Yes, and it’s all because of that freakin’ curfew. -_- We expected to arrive in LB at 11PM. And by that time, we’ll only be having two hours left for a night which is supposed to be fun. And sure, we can continue the get-together at Ern’s place, but unfortunately he can’t be reached through phone. And besides, we’re not sure if could still buy drinks at the time we’ll arrive because of the liquor ban. TWO HOURS IS NOT ENOUGH.
Then suddenly, Kuya Dustin thought of something — why don’t we just rent a private resort in Pansol, and then go to LB the next morning? BRILLIANT. At least in a private resort, there is no curfew. We have our videoke. No liquor ban in Pansol! And we have a pool! :D PERFECT.
Good thing our friends are always GAME on everything! When we told them about this sudden change of plans, they agreed of course!
We celebrated Irish’s twentieth birthday that night!
SESSION! :D I think I was singing “What’s Up” here.
And here’s a remake of the old poolside photo of Edcom ‘08 from last year:
The old one is better, definitely, because there are more people present. :D With us here is Tope, Claire’s boyfriend. Kin left earlier because he has a class at 9AM. Haha! Perfect epitome of an average UPLB student. Charrrr.
We left the resort at 7AM. Some went home already but some of us went to LB to say visit our HOME! <3 We had breakfast at Bugel’s.
After breakfast, I went to my boyfriend’s place to get some sleep. We planned to watch The Amazing Spiderman in the afternoon, and of course, I don’t want to fall asleep in the cinema so I needed to get enough sleep. HAHA! He woke me up at 12 noon telling me that if I want to catch the 2:30PM screening I should be getting up already.
BUUUT, I was too hung-over (Mojitos, you traitor!), and I’m pretty much sure that if we go and watch, I’ll ruin the cinema carpet with my vomit. I swear. And might be spending most of the time in the restroom puking. SO… NO. Staying in bed is the best thing to do. We just slept until 4PM, and had our “lunch” in Bonitos at 5PM. And then we went home, me to Biñan, and Miguel to QC. Yeah, so basically, I spent most of my day in LB sleeping. THE END.
Haha. But yes really, this is the best weekend I had so far since I started working! :D We looove college so much, and these are our little ways to “turn back time” and unwind. :)